Simply stated, grit and failure intersect at perseverance. A fundamental building block of grit is perseverance and in order to persevere, one needs a healthy mindset around failure. Because much of the cultural messaging around failure is misleading – if not downright wrong – the topic of failure deserves more attention. This is my attempt to share what I’ve learned. I trust it will improve your grittiness.
Part 3- The Consequences of Failure
In my previous post, I shared that not all failures are alike in how they can be prevented. This time, I would like to consider the consequences of failures— something that I personally do not always want to think about. There are a large variety of situations that we can find ourselves in while working in our respective fields and understanding how these situations affect the impact and likelihood of failure is key to a healthy mindset about failure. The first aspect to consider is whether our work is high stakes or low stakes. By their very nature, failures in higher stakes environments result in more severe consequences than lower stakes environments. An example would be flying a plane versus trying a new sport; failing at either task can result in physical injury, but one will be more serious than the other. The second aspect to consider is the degree of consistency in your work. The more consistent it is, the deeper your knowledge of what works and what doesn’t. In inconsistent work environments there is no established pattern for success, so the probability of failure is high and should be expected. Now imagine a matrix with impact (high stakes vs. low stakes) on one axis and degree of consistency on the other axis. Place your work in the appropriate quadrant. What does that suggest to you about reasonable expectations for failure? The trick for perfectionists like me is to understand both the likelihood and impact of failures, and not to berate yourself when they occur, especially in a work environment with a high probability of moderate to low impact failures. In the meantime, remember the words of Benjamin Franklin: “Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.”
Part 2- Types of Failures
In my previous post, I shared that accomplishing anything of significance requires accepting the associated risk and being open to the possibility of failure. However, not all failures are alike— and that’s what I’d like us to consider now. The first thing to understand is that failures can take different forms. There are simple and complex failures, and both of these can be avoided. Simple failures just result from simple mistakes, such as spilling milk or forgetting to do a basic safety check. Complex failures, as the name implies, results from a multitude of small errors that compound into a bigger one. Simple failures are normally simple to prevent, but complex failures often result from factors beyond our control. What are we supposed to do then? For starters, take a step back and learn from the experience. One of the things that perfectionists need to do is reorient their minds from wanting to avoid failure at all costs to having a growth mindset, where failure is not something to be avoided but an opportunity to grow. In the meantime, remember that “Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.” ~Richard Branson
Part 1- Failing does not make you a Failure
It's been a pleasure to collaborate with my grandson, Josh Toyer (linkedin.com/in/joshua-t-toyer-81b24a276), over the past few months. As he nears graduation from Cedarville University, Josh has been freelancing for me, creating content on the subject of failure. Some of you may recall that before founding IndyGrit.Community, I served as the Chief Mentor in Residence for The Failure Institute, where I developed a keen interest in this topic. Josh's unique insights have been invaluable, and I've invited him to author a series of posts to pique your curiosity. Here's the first one for your reading pleasure.
My point of view on failure has been challenged by Amy Edmondson’s book Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well (Edmondson, A. (2023) Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well, New York, NY: Atria Books). Let’s face it: None of us likes to fail. But it’s a fact of life that failure does occur, and learning to fail well is an important lesson to learn as early as you can. Accomplishing anything of significance requires accepting the associated risk and being open to the possibility of failure. But if you’re a perfectionist like me, that fact can discourage you. If you are like me, you take failure personally; you believe that just because you failed, you are a failure. And that is simply not true. I have learned that just because you fail, that does not mean that you are a failure. I want to share what I have learned with you to give you a bit more confidence in yourself and introduce you to the concept of failing well. I’ll do that over the next few weeks, so check back for my next installment. In the meantime, remember that “When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel.”~Eloise Ristad